The Leader Mindset #39

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Can a Terrible Leader Make You a Better Leader? Yes, and Here Is How

I want to be clear before we begin: I’m not encouraging anyone to purposely work for a bad boss to round out their leadership development journey. They’re not a great leadership development strategy. Usually, they’re just a pain.

But lately something interesting has been happening. As I talk with leaders in coaching conversations and my MBA students, I’m hearing more questions that sound like this: “What do I do if I’m stuck with a leader who doesn’t care about my growth? I would love to leave right now, but I’m stuck due to salary, family, or the job market… so what am I supposed to do?”

It’s a fair question. Clearly, they are frustrated, which makes sense. But I usually ask back: “Since your options, is there anything you can learn from your current leader?” And almost every time, the first answer is immediate. “Nothing. They’re terrible.”

Maybe so. But here’s the thing. What if there’s still something they can offer you—not because they’re brilliant or secretly wise, but because their behavior forces you to learn something about yourself? It rarely feels like growth while you’re in it. But growth doesn’t always announce itself in the moment. Sometimes it only makes sense once you’re out the other side.

Let me walk through what I mean.

Seeing Who Not to Be

For years, I’ve asked leaders: How did your worst boss make you feel? There’s never hesitation—disrespected, disengaged, less committed. Those emotions come from behaviors we can all spot: belittling others, micromanaging, dismissing ideas, just to name a few. Our emotions should be a point of clarity. They teach us what kind of leader we refuse to become. By watching their behavior and noticing your own reactions, your leadership style starts to take shape. Sometimes the clearest view of your values comes from knowing what to avoid.

Developing Resiliency

Working for a poor boss teaches you how to get things done without support. You learn to stay productive when direction is unclear and to stay calm when emotions run hot. Pushing through those conditions builds a kind of resilience that never shows up on a résumé but matters deeply for your future success. You learn to navigate stress, maintain focus, and handle high-pressure situations without losing your composure. And when the next leadership challenge arises, you will already have the resiliency skills to face it.

Building Interpersonal Courage

There comes a moment when you either speak up or swallow your pride. Poor leaders do not like feedback, but silence slowly drains your confidence. So, you have the opportunity to start testing your voice—figuring our timing, choosing which words to use, and learning how to have difficult conversations without firing bombs. That is learned interpersonal courage. It is deciding that protecting your integrity matters more than protecting your comfort. Most people never get to practice this when things are smooth. Tough leaders force you to sharpen it, which will be valuable in the future.

Learning to Advocate for Yourself

When you work for a great leader, advocacy often feels natural. They are in your corner, opening doors and pushing you forward. But with a bad boss, the equation changes. You quickly face a choice: learn to advocate for yourself or slowly get left behind. That means getting better at clarifying priorities, asking for what you need, and protecting your development even when support is absent. If you can practice that skill under a poor leader, you will be even better at applying it when you finally work for someone who supports you. The skill stays with you, long after the bad boss is gone.

Establishing Your Boundaries

There’s nothing like a 10:30 p.m. phone call from your boss—or a “quick question” during your daughter’s dance recital—to test your limits. Toxic leaders push until you push back. That’s when the real work begins. What will you protect? Can you have the hard conversation? Over time, you learn to say “I’ll handle it tomorrow” or “That time won’t work for me.” The upside is powerful. You leave with boundaries built from experience and rooted in your values.

Rediscovering What Makes You Happy

The stress of working for a bad boss can drain energy, create burnout, and make work feel like a drag. But your identity is bigger than your job title or work situation. Reconnecting with hobbies, relationships, and routines that bring joy reminds you that fulfillment can exist outside of work. Learning what lifts you up, especially when work pulls you down, protects your mental health and strengthens your balance long after the poor boss is gone.

Is There Any Good News?

You might never thank your bad boss. But you might learn from them. Not by following their example but by surviving it.  As strange as it sounds the lessons you learn from pain and frustration often become part of your leadership foundation. You may leave with stronger boundaries, sharper instincts, clearer values, or a renewed sense of who you want to be.

So, no I’m not suggesting anyone search for a bad boss to work for. In fact, I encourage you to learn what you can quickly and move on. But, if you have one right now or do in the future, take some time to reflect on these six development opportunities. They might be teaching you something you’ll use for the rest of your career.

Share in the comments anything you have learned from a poor boss. I would love to hear it.

Andy Noon, PhD

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Andy