The Leader Mindset #34

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Redesign Your 1:1s for Maximum Impact

Let's be honest. Are your 1:1s starting to drag?

Do you ever look at your calendar and think, Maybe I'll just cancel this one?

If so, you're not the only one. Almost every leader eventually reaches a point where meetings intended to connect people start to feel routine and boring.

I've seen both sides of crappy 1:1s.

Years ago, I had a CHRO who scheduled a weekly 60-minute 1:1. At first, I appreciated the dedicated time to plan and align with my boss. But every week, those "hour-long" meetings stretched into two-hour slogs. It became a running joke with my peers: "See you in a few hours." Since there was no agenda or clear purpose, I wasn't sure what they needed, so I continued talking, hoping to find something useful. It left me frustrated. My time didn't feel respected, and my focus was gone by the end.

Then I worked for another leader who took the opposite approach. Their 1:1s lasted five minutes—if that. They'd say, "This is your time," but never asked a question. They seemed distracted, uninterested, and ready for me to be done before we'd even started. It felt like a burden they had to check off the list. After a while, I stopped bringing anything meaningful because it was clear they weren't really listening.

Two leaders. Two extremes. Both ineffective.

Done well, 1:1s are one of the most valuable leadership tools you have. They uncover barriers, build alignment, and create space for real growth. But when neglected, they become a symbol of everything people hate about work: meetings that waste time and accomplish little.

The good news is that small changes make a big difference. Here are ten ways to bring your 1:1s back to life.

10 Ways to Improve Your 1:1s

1. Create a Curiosity Zone

Start with ten minutes of conversation that has nothing to do with work. Talk about a podcast, a recent article, or something they've been thinking about.

A few years ago, a leader told me she used to start every 1:1 by asking, "What's something interesting you've learned this week?" The question had nothing to do with goals or performance, yet it created the most thoughtful conversations.  

2. Reduce the Meeting Length

It sounds simple, but it works. Shorter meetings create sharper focus.

When you schedule sixty minutes, the conversation tends to expand and wander to fill the time. Cut it to forty-five or even thirty, and you'll find both sides stay sharper.  

3. Build Something Together

Instead of using the meeting for updates, consider using the time to create something together. For example, co-creating a presentation, building a project plan, or writing a press release could be time well spent. It helps address an urgent need while also enhancing the creative juices.

4. Invite a Guest

Sometimes introducing a fresh voice into the meeting will provide a new perspective. Invite a peer, collaborator, or partner to join a 1:1 occasionally.  

One leader I coached did this with his team. He had his direct reports bring one of their direct reports to the meeting once per month. It provided the leader with exposure to his direct report's team and gave him a new lens into important projects.

5. Focus on Future Directions

Too many 1:1s get stuck in the past—what happened last week, what went wrong, what's overdue. Shift the focus forward. Ask for their thoughts on future priorities or directions, such as an upcoming initiative, a strategic pivot, or even a potential risk.

When people help shape the future, they care more about creating it.

6. Share a Coaching Question

A single good question can reshape someone's perspective. These questions can break down assumptions or tired mental models to create new perspectives. Try asking:

• "What's one assumption we should test this week?"

• "What's a small risk worth taking?"

• "If you had full authority, what would you change?"

7. Have a Reset Meeting

If your 1:1s feel like they have lost their rhythm, be honest about it. Say, "These meetings don't feel as useful as they could. How can we make them better?"

Invite your team member to help redesign the format. When people shape the process, they re-engage with it. Sometimes, the best reset comes from simply asking how to fix it.

8. Build in Accountability

End every meeting with a clear summary of both parties' commitments—one from them and one from you.

Accountability builds trust, but only if it's mutual. When leaders share what they will do, it reinforces partnership. It signals that both sides own the outcome.

9. Introduce Growth Challenges

Work with your team member to create one monthly stretch development challenge. It could be anything, but it must be experiential (not a class or training), such as giving tough feedback, leading a meeting with executives, or delegating a new task. Keep it small but meaningful. Then reflect on what they learned next time you meet.

Those micro-challenges can help re-engage focus on individual development.

10. Story of Accomplishments

Numbers tell you what happened, but stories tell you why it mattered.

Instead of only reviewing results, every few meetings ask them to tell the story behind a recent success. What made them proud? What was hard? What did they learn?

The best insights come from storytelling. You'll uncover motivation, confidence, and resilience in ways that dashboards will never reveal.

Redesign Your 1:1s Today

If your 1:1s feel flat, don't ignore a clear symptom. It's your cue that something needs to change.

The fix doesn't have to be dramatic. You don't need to scrap your entire process. You should still talk about goals, projects, and results, but you may need to supercharge the meetings with some new energy, curiosity, and presence. Those three ingredients transform routine meetings into genuine coaching conversations.

So, start small. Pick one or two of these ideas and try them next week. See how they feel.

If your people leave those conversations feeling more energized, more confident, and clearer on what matters most, then you may have hit on something valuable.

I would appreciate hearing how you keep your 1:1s valuable and engaging. Share in the comments.

Andy Noon, PhD

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Thanks for reading and look forward to seeing you again next week.

Andy