The Leader Mindset #15

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Stop Saying People Leave Bad Managers — Start Saying This Instead

You’ve heard it a hundred times: “People leave managers, not companies.” At this point, it’s leadership’s equivalent of a Taylor Swift breakup anthem—catchy, overplayed, and a little misunderstood 😅😅.

Gallup’s been shouting from the rooftops for years: 70% of employee engagement hinges on the manager. Here’s the thing: the problem isn’t always that managers are jerks. That’s too easy. More often, it’s not toxicity—it’s absence.

People aren’t just fleeing screaming tyrants. They’re leaving managers who don’t communicate, don’t develop, don’t recognize, don’t empower, and ultimately, don’t lead.

Early in my career, I thought this was obvious. I stood before a room full of leaders and said, “People leave because of their managers.” The pushback was surprisingly intense.

“How can you say that? I’ve never come up in an exit interview! Are you saying I’m a bad person? My team loves me!”

The consensus in the room was clear: they didn’t see themselves as the reason people were leaving.

Treading lightly, I responded: “No, I’m not saying anyone here is a monster. But not being a jerk isn’t the same as being a great leader.” More often, it’s the slow, quiet absence of leadership that sends people packing.

Clearly, there were two interpretations of the phrase “people leave bad leaders, not companies” — one focused on malice disposition and the other about leadership behavior.

More recently, I asked another group of leaders, “How many of you know what percentage of people leave due to a lack of development opportunities?” Crickets. A few shared some low guesses. Then, I dropped the stat: 33%.

“That’s not my fault! There are no promotion opportunities here!” someone shouted.

This is a pretty typical defense mechanism we all use. It is not my fault!

Sorry for the straight talk, but we can keep making excuses, or we can take accountability for actions we can control.

Career conversations, stretch assignments, coaching moments—those don’t need a corner office or a big budget. They’re missing not because of malicious intent, but because you’re distracted, disengaged, or just unclear on what leadership really demands.

So, let’s break it down. Here’s why people are really leaving:

• Leaders who don’t communicate. No context on decisions. No updates on what’s coming. Just silence, leaving teams stumbling in the dark.

• Leaders who don’t empower. Hoarding the good projects, delegating busywork instead of trust, they micromanage every move.

• Leaders who don’t recognize. Pay matters, sure, but how about a “good job” or a shout-out in a meeting? Ensure people feel valued.

• Leaders who don’t develop. No career chats. No push to grow. No doors opened for the next step.

This stings because it’s personal. You can control these things. The list of what you can control is much longer than what you can’t. Yet, too many leaders pat themselves on the back for “not being terrible” like it’s a gold star.

Let’s reset the leader mindset.

Let’s all agree to drop the tired line about people leaving bad managers — and start saying what’s really happening: they’re leaving the absence of great leadership.

What do you think?

(share your perspectives in the comments)

Andy Noon, PhD

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Andy