The Leader Mindset #3

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• My Need for Control Almost Destroyed The Team - Wh …

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My Need for Control Almost Destroyed The Team - What You Can Learn From My Failure.

Hello my friends,

Here is a quick story about how stress and pressure caused me to fail my team. Please use my failure to learn some valuable lessons that will keep you from asserting unnecessary control or micromanaging in a crisis.

It started with a flood of emails and meeting invites.

"We need an update ASAP."

"What’s the status on the hiring project?"

"Can you jump on a quick call? I need to know the status."

I could feel the stress building—like an elephant on my chest. Every email felt like a gut punch. Senior leadership wanted answers. Internal customers were getting impatient.

I built the business case for this project. My reputation was on the line. Unfortunately, we fell behind, and critical deadlines loomed over me like a storm cloud on the horizon. And my team? They were working hard, but was it fast enough?

So, I did what any well-intentioned (but panicked) leader would do: I took control.

 I started checking in. Constantly.

"Hey, just touching base—where are we on this?"

"Any updates since our last update?" (which, let’s be honest, was usually earlier that day)

"Let’s have a quick meeting to align. Again."

I thought I was helping. I was feeling calmer and more in control. Unfortunately, the results told a different story.

Instead of moving faster, my team slowed down. The more I hovered, the more hesitant they became. Decisions that used to take five minutes stretched into hours or even days because they were waiting for my approval. Their ownership and initiative evaporated.

 And then—the moment of truth.

One of my best team members, let’s call her Ann, turned to me after my third check-in of the day and said:

"Look, if you have the solution, just tell me. Otherwise, I will get it done!"

Ouch – that was harsh – “Doesn’t she know the pressure we are under?”

It hurt, but it was a wake-up call: My stress and insecurity were suffocating the team. I wasn’t leading; I was trying to control them.

I’ve always prided myself on empowering my team. I love developing people and helping them grow. But this was different. The pressure of this situation changed my leadership approach, and I didn’t like what I saw. More importantly, it wasn’t working.

 The Shift: From Controlling to Empowering

I needed to re-assess. Fast.

So, instead of tightening my grip, I changed course. Here’s what actually worked:

1. I Created an Update Cadence

Instead of interrupting my team every five minutes, I set a predictable check-in schedule—daily stand-ups and end-of-week progress reports. Everyone knew when updates were coming, which meant I could stop being the "random pop-in" manager. Also, I ensured Sr. Leaders knew when they would receive updates.

2. I Got Crystal Clear on Priorities

There were no more vague, urgent tasks. I clarified what mattered most and why. When my team understood the bigger picture, they weren’t just executing orders; they were making better decisions. Not only did this increase productivity, but it lessened their burnout.

3. I Involved Them in Solutioning, Not Just the Work

Before, I was in taskmaster mode: "Here’s what I need you to do."

I flipped it: "Here’s the problem—how do we solve it?"

Ownership skyrocketed. So did the number of innovative ideas.

4. I Focused on Outcomes

Did I still feel the urge to check in every five minutes? Absolutely. But I fought it. Instead of micromanaging the process, I focused on the outcomes and deadlines.  The team knew the processes better than I ever would, so I was just getting in their way. They could use their ingenuity to improve processes and produce the needed outcomes.

5. We Failed Fast

Not everything went smoothly. Some decisions veered off track. But instead of panicking, I was quick with feedback, and as a group, we decided what to stop, start, and continue. Everyone had an equal voice. The result? They identified improvements and adapted without fear.

6. I Became More Visible

This may sound counterintuitive, but instead of constantly asking for updates, I focused on getting out of my office and being available. I got involved in removing roadblocks, recognizing progress, and providing support. And the best part? My team felt comfortable coming to me when they needed help instead of waiting for me to check in.

The Takeaway: In a Crisis, Lead with Empowerment, Not Control

When things are challenging, it’s easy to default to control. But control doesn’t create long-term results—empowerment does. Your team needs clarity, trust, and ownership, not constant oversight.

Oh, yeah, our team crushed it! We completed the project and exceeded our internal customers’ expectations.

So, next time you feel the urge to take control, step back, set clear expectations, empower and support them, and let them surprise you.

Your Turn: How Do You Keep Your Team Empowered During a Crisis?

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Feeling like your 1:1s are a little stale? Here is a 1:1 template to help structure your conversations and ensure you clarify performance expectations.

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Thank you for reading my newsletter. I look forward to seeing you again next week.

Andy